Crazy Stunts

October is apparently the time for crazy stunts. David Blaine spent the past weekend trying to avoid getting electrified. Felix Baumgartner is going to attempt a freefall from the edge of space. And the New York Jets kept Mark Sanchez as their starting quarterback. As of this writing, two of those stunts have already been successfully completed, while the freefall has been postponed because of weather.

And what is even more amazing about some of these stunts is that they can get corporate sponsors. Red Bull is sponsoring Felix, while Intel sponsored David Blaine. In other words, these companies are paying these guys to do their crazy stunts! Or they are at least picking up the tab for whatever it requires for them to do what they are doing. All to get their corporate names out there.

I guess they are trying to get across their message in a unique way. “If you want to do something daring like a freefall from outer space, drink Red Bull, because that is what the real daredevils drink.” Or maybe, “If you want to get electrified, use a computer with an Intel processor.” On second thought, maybe that isn’t exactly what they had in mind.

Hearing about things like that always gets my mind working and my wheels turning. Maybe I could come up with a crazy stunt and actually get paid for it, too.

So here is my idea: I will attempt to juggle everything that I have going on in life - family, work, church, football, leisure time (um, what’s that?) - handling all the last minute curves that come up. “I’m sorry, but your son’s football game scheduled for tomorrow night has been changed because the officials have an important meeting to attend.” “That project that you are working on, we need it two days ago.” “All the information we gave you about that is going to change. Again.” And not only will I attempt to juggle them, but I will attempt to do it without combusting internally. Or even externally.

Surely I can find a sponsor for such a crazy stunt as that, right?

How about Walt Disney World? Because when I get it all done, I can say, “I’m going to Disney World!” Oh wait, what do you mean I never will get it all done?

How about Coca-Cola? Because I need all that caffeine to help keep me interested. Or interesting. Or just awake.

Or perhaps Apple? “Keeping up with your busy schedule is so much easier with an iPhone! And it also provides entertainment during football practice.”

Actually, I have already started my crazy stunt. So any of you potential sponsors can feel free to contact me any time to set things up.