Burnsland Dictionary: Granny Race


Granny Race (n.) - When two cars are driving next to each other, both going under the speed limit, so that no cars behind them who want to drive the maximum speed allowed by law can pass. Two grannies having a race to see who can drive the slowest.

So far, no remedy for this situation has been found. Driving right up behind one or both said grannies often causes one or both said grannies to drive even slower. If one sees that the other is slowing down, the first will slow down as well. Because you wouldn’t want the other one to get behind you, would you?

Blowing your horn will scare at least one, as it lulls them out of their deep thoughts so that they can look around to see what is going on. This always causes a slow down of the first driver, which again results in both slowing down. Avoid that at all costs.

The best that you can hope for is that one will be distracted by looking at something on the side of the road and accidentally speed up, allowing you room to follow close behind and get through the space between cars before they once again match speed.

If you are more than one or two cars behind the grannies, you are unfortunately out of luck. You will never get around them. Find a different route. Or stop for a cup of coffee. You will catch back up with them eventually.

Does the one who gets to the destination last actually win? And if so, what is the prize? It must be valuable, based on the number of such contests that I have seen lately. Maybe I want in on the action, too.

And if you are actually a granny, please don’t take offense. I’m sure you don’t drive like that.